The Devil

Devil: It’s hard these days; it really is,
to be the Devil. You just don’t
have any idea. I feared
it would come, I did. I did.
God kept changing his mind, to start with.
That’s why I left you know, well,
one of the reasons.

First, I was just a serpent, you know, the one in the garden?
That was ok. I mean, I knew everything and that was cool.
I didn’t lie; I didn’t say it would make them God. No,
I said it would make them like God.
Oh God I could go on for hours about that one.
I better shut up. I lost an arm and a leg over that.

But then, then, I wasn’t so bad the next time the heavy stuff went down either.
No, I was cool as a cucumber.
Job, some tortured man always takes center stage.
Good old Job and there I was, Satan, the adversary.
I didn’t say do all that to Job.
Nooooo, I just said, “I bet Job would give up
believing in this God business if all that went down.”

Then Jesus, well, Christ he just about put me out of business,
though there were booms during the Crusades and Inquisition.
Now there’s irony. That’s what God is, ironic. Believe that.

You think it’s easy to find souls these days? Hell no. It ain’t easy.

People sell their souls when times are bad, sure
but way more of them actually
go through with it when times are booming.
Boom towns, for example,
80% Hell bound no question.

But the Depression? Slim pickings. Slim pickings here too.

Anyone want to make a deal?